Hidden Emotions
by Cindy aka SG1PhileShipper
Summary: When Sam is badly hurt in a car accident, Bailey contemplates his feelings for her…
1. Hidden Emotions

Disclaimer: Bailey, Sam and the profiler gang are not my property. They belong to the Sander/Moses Production and NBC and I'm using them for fun. No infringement is intended and I don't make money out of this.   
Classification: SBR. Is there anything else, baby?! Lots of angst, Bailey POV   
Rating: PG   
Summary: When Sam is badly hurt in a car accident, Bailey contemplates his feelings for her…   
Dedication: Enni, this is your entire fault. You made me write this. That's what happens when you dream about"" Bailey Malone's Little Kingdom at night. J   
Author's Note: After seeing " three men and a little lady" last night, this one's been brewing in my head all night long. The song in here belongs to me. And if you want to sing along, be my guest.   
  
Email: sg1phileshipper@skynet.be   
  
  
Hidden Emotions  
  
By Cindy   
  
I'm sitting in a white, blinding hospital room, watching my best friend die. She was in a car accident last night and now she's in a coma. She's dying and there's nothing I can do about it. If we could trade places, I would. She's so young and she has so much to live for. It's not right   
for her to die. She has to live! She has to, because I can't stand the thought of living without her. I need her. I need her so much it's killing me. If Sam would die, a part of me would go with her. But she's not gonna die. Not if I have anything to do with it. I'll stay with her day and   
night and give her the strengths of my beliefs. And I strongly believe she'll be okay. Something is telling me Sam has every reason to live. And I know Chloe is one of those reasons.   
  
I hold you hand in mine and I feel how weak you are. There is no strength left in your hand. And I hope that by covering your hand with mine, you will get my strength. I do realize that it is all I can do for you right now. I wish I could do more, but with pain in my heart I have to admit   
I can't. I can only watch you die. And believe when I say it is hard to see someone you love die. There, I said it. Because that's the way it is. You're the only person I have ever truly loved.   
  
Of course I did love Janet once, but not in the same way as I love you Sam. I love you with my entire being Sam. I love with my body and soul. I love with my heart and my mind. Love is such a beautiful thing. If only I had realized how much you mean to me before. You mean more to me than I ever held possible. You're my Minnie to my Mickey. You're my ying to my yang. You're the most precious thing in the world. If only I had told you how much I love you when I had the chance. I can't kid myself here anymore. I would be lying if I said I didn't realize how much I love you.   
And I would be lying to myself. Because I realized how I felt about you a long time ago. I was just too scared to tell you how I feel and I was scared I would loose you if you found out. But that has to change now. As soon as you wake up, I will tell you how I feel. I'll even write you a   
letter to prove I really mean it.   
  
I am sitting here with my paper in one hand and my pen in the other. As I listen to the radio softly playing in the background, I watch your innocent face. And the words come out by themselves. My pen is living a life of its own:   
  
***************************************   
  
" Dear Sam,   
  
Here I am, sitting by your side and holding you hand. As I listen to the soft beats of the music and watch your beautiful face, I realize I have lost too much time hiding my feelings for you.   
  
Aerosmith's "I don't want to miss a thing" is filling the room and I find myself humming along. And then I realize I am not singing the same lyrics. I am humming the words buried deep in my heart. As weird as it may seem, I find myself writing down the words. I don't think here, I just   
write. And I want to share my most inner thoughts with you:   
  
  
  
I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU UP   
  
I can feel my love, just when you're around   
Watch your face while you are speaking   
When you smile my heart is beating   
I would stay alive, just to see you happy   
Wanna make a promise to you   
Forever   
Every time I see you smile   
I know that I'm blessed   
  
I just can't go on like this; it's you that I always miss   
Cause you are the one and I don't wanna give you up   
I don't wanna close my eyes and miss just one of your smiles   
Cause I know it babe and I don't wanna give you up   
  
Dreaming while you speak, never in this moment   
I could give up what I'm feeling   
When I see you I am dreaming   
Wanna spend my life just to be around you   
Only wish that you could see, how much I need you   
  
I just can't go on like this; it's you that I always miss   
Cause you are the one and I don't wanna give you up   
I don't wanna close my eyes and miss just one of your smiles   
Cause I know it babe and I don't wanna give you up   
  
I just wanna take one chance   
I just wanna say one thing   
I just wanna hear you say you need me here just like this   
I just wanna feel your love   
I just wanna be the one   
And stay around you baby, for the rest of my life   
  
I just can't go on like this; it's you that I always miss   
Cause you are the one and I don't wanna give you up   
I don't wanna close my eyes and miss just one of your smiles   
Cause I know it babe and I don't wanna give you up   
  
I just can't go on like this, it's you that I always miss  
Cause you are the one and I don't wanna give you up   
I don't wanna close my eyes and miss just one of your smiles   
Cause I know it babe and I don't wanna give you up   
I just can't go on like this; it's you that I always miss   
I don't wanna give you up   
  
As I read my song again, I realize how deep my feelings for you are. I have loved before Sam, but never as strong as this. This is something I can barely describe. And even if I could describe it, words wouldn't be enough. And I have never been strong with words. I guess that's one of the reasons why I am writing down what I feel. I have never been much of a talker. I am much more talented writing. And I silently contemplate my words, while I drink in your face. I know the stakes are huge here, because I can never take my words back.   
  
Maybe you don't realize how much I really care for you and I can't blame you for that. We've been friends for so long and I never gave you a hint about how I felt. But I didn't know those feelings existed, until I saw you in that hospital bed. Then it occurred to me I had been kidding   
myself all those years. And it's not fair, because you deserve more than that. You have always been such a good friend to me. I'm sure you know how much you mean to me. And in a way I have always known I mean a lot to you too. You never told me in so many words, but I can feel it. I   
know you love me Sam, but I don't know if you are "in" love with me. It goes without saying that I love you too and that I am also in love with you. And you must believe me Sam when I say that that is my only truth.   
  
I couldn't bear loosing you if you didn't feel the same, but I think our friendship are strong enough to survive. And that's what I am too you in the first place: a friend. I was once told there is not much difference between friendship and love. I can see now how much those words are   
true. And if you are as close as we are, the chance of falling in love is even bigger. What we have together goes beyond friendship. We have an emotional and a physical connection. We are always there for each other. It seems like you are the only one able to comfort me just by holding me or touching me. You Sam, you make me feel a whole person. And I don't know if I'd ever be whole again, without you by my side. You complete me Sam.   
  
I guess you may wonder why I love you. That's really simple: I love what you are. I love you for who you are. I love your smile, I love your gentle touch, I love the way you care about Chloe and I even love your stubbornness. If you wouldn't exist, I would invent you. I silently dream about our first kiss. But when I wake up I ask myself why you would love someone like me. I have nothing to offer and there is so much you can give. I could never accept something from you, if I couldn't give something back. And there is nothing I have to give, unless my undying love.   
  
I have loved before Sam, but when I compare those feelings to what I feel for you, I know I have never been in love. You hear people say true love comes around only once, and they are right. I know I have found my true love. And I have lost too much time looking for her, when all the time   
she was right under my nose. It may be hard and painful to admit, but I'll never be able to love that way again. I love with my heart and soul, with my mind and my eyes; I love with my whole body. I may repeating myself here Sam, but only because it is the truth. I feel incomplete when you're not around. You're my light in the darkness. You're all I ever want and all I'll ever need. You're my one in a trillion, Sam.   
  
I love you; Sam and I will always love you. And I am the happiest person in the world right, because I was able to express how I feel. And it will be the first thing you read when you wake up. And I know you will wake up.   
  
Love,   
  
Bailey.   
  
*****************************************   
  
As I read this letter again, I find myself smiling. Not because you opened your eyes, but because I know you will get better. You didn't give me any sign of life yet, but you'll never leave me when you know I'll be going down with you. Here I am Sam, sitting by your side again, contemplating my feelings. I have spent too much time thinking about how and when I would tell you how I feel. And all this time I could have spend some wonderful moments with you. That is if you had shared my feelings. Don't get me wrong Sam. I have spent the most wonderful moments of my life by your side. The times I was around you were the happiest moments of my life. I feel alive   
when I'm with you. But I want more Sam. I want to be able to hold you and touch you when I feel like it. I want to share my life with you. I want to comfort you when you need it. I want. I want. I want you to get better Sam. I need you to. If you don't, I don't know what'll happen to me.   
  
It's getting late Sam. I think I'll go home and try to sleep for a couple of hours. I haven't slept last night and I am getting tired now. But I promise I'll be back soon. I won't leave you alone for too long. And somehow I feel that my return is going to be happy. I can't tell why I   
think that, but I'm just feeling it. So before I leave, I kiss you on the forehead. And secretly I wish I could do that more often.   
  
I lie in bed and recall the events of last night. I was almost asleep when my phone rang. It was the hospital calling me you had had an accident. I was told my best friend had been hurt badly and that she was now in a coma. I immediately left for the hospital and stayed by your side until and hour ago. I left you because sleep was overtaking me. And now I can't sleep because I am thinking about my own death and how immortal we all are. A second of distraction and it's all over. One turn of the head, and what you spend your entire life building is over.   
  
And then it's happening again. I am almost asleep and the phone is ringing. I immediately fear the worst. Luckily I am able to hold back my tears and answer. And when I let the words sink in, a huge smile is breaking out. You opened your eyes just minutes ago and you asked to see me. I get dressed and I race to the hospital. When I almost reach your door, Angel and Chloe come out. The little girl jumps in my arms and hugs me. And Angel offers me the warmest smile I have ever seen. You're alive. I just knew you would get better. I know I have been able to help you by thinking you'd get better. Somehow you felt I knew it and it gave you strength. And the question   
I asked my whole life has been answered: does and angel contemplate my faith? Yes, it does. I have a guardian angel I will be forever thankful.   
  
They have moved you to a normal room. You make the fastest recovery they have ever seen. As I walk by your window, I watch you as you read the letter I left you. And then I see you are crying. You are crying like a little kid. I hesitate a while before I walk in. I am seeing such a   
beautiful playing before me. When I walk in you look up at me and smile like the sun coming up. I sit down by your side and wipe the tears away. And then you ask me to come nearer you and then you whisper the words I have rehearsed a million times: " I love you too". And for the first time   
in my life I know I have made the right decision. And I was right when I said you wouldn't die on me. You didn't. My life is just not over yet, it's only beginning.   
  
  
  
The End. Hope you liked it. 


	2. I love the way you love me

HIDDEN EMOTIONS II:I LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME   
By: Cindy   
Email: sg1phileshipper@skynet.be  
Disclaimers: The profiler gang isn't mine. They belong to the Sander/Moses production and the NBC network. No infringement is intended and I'm making no money out of this. The song "I love the way you love me" belongs to Boyzone. No infringement intended there either.   
Classification: SBR, like always. It's my main reason of living. Sam POV   
Rating: PG   
Spoilers: None   
Summary: This one's a follow-up to 'Hidden Emotions'. You should read that one first.   
  
'Hidden Emotions II: I love the way you love me'   
  
Bailey is standing in front of me. I have opened my eyes only an hour ago, and he's already there. I can see he has been crying. He was scared I would die. I know that. I'm clutching the letter he wrote me to my chest. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever read. I only wish I was able to write like that. I didn't know he was something of a writer. I pictured him more as a talker. It's funny how you can be so wrong with people you know. The song came as the biggest surprise to me. I'd love to hear him sing it to me some day, but today we have more important stuff to do. We have to talk. I always knew Bailey cared a lot about me, but I never hoped he would love me that much. And all this time I was seeing other guys, he has watched me and maybe I did hurt him. If only I could have seen in his eyes it was killing. And now I realize why he said he wasn't much of a talker. He is a talker, but not when it comes to love.   
  
Bailey is finally moving and sits down next to me. He wipes my tears away with his thumb and I realize how lucky I am to have such a friend. He's one out of a billion. He's my lifeline and my only true friend. Sure, Angel is my friend too, but I don't think I am as close to her as I ever was to Bailey. I think Bailey is the only one I couldn't live without. I took me a long time to realize, but now I am so sure of it, I will never let him go again. I will protect Bailey with my life. I love him more than anything in this world. The day he walked into my life, an Angel must have watched over me. And I will be thankful forever.   
  
As he sits down on the bed next to me and I am looking at this letter, I do the only thing I have to. I whisper how much I love him too. And then the color of his eyes change and I see a light burning inside his eyes. Like the changing of the seasons, Bailey eyes are changing color. And then I know why. They are because of me, because how much he loves me. And I consider myself lucky that I have had that chance twice in my life. And I won't let my second chance go. I lost the first love of my life because of Jack and I won't loose the second over him. I'll protect Bailey with my whole being. I'll be his shelter in the rain. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be everything he needs me to be.   
  
Bailey doesn't stay long. He tells me I need some sleep and I guess he is right. I am tired, very tired. But I could spend my whole life looking at him without sleeping. But I know he won't let me do that. I'm sure he'll even sing me a lullaby if he has too. And what am I doing while he is worried about me, I am thinking about how nice it would be to fall asleep in his arms. His strong muscled arms will protect me from all evil. And I know Bailey will do anything to protect me, like he always has. But now something is different. He won't be protecting his best friend; he will protect his best friend AND his future. He hasn't told me that, but I know that is exactly what he's thinking. Then he leaves and I feel his soft, warm lips burning on my forehead. The heat radiating from the kiss goes through my entire core. And then he turns around and walks off without looking back. And I know why he did that. Because if he had looked back, it would have been too hard too leave.  
  
He is gone, but I can't sleep. I read his letter over and over again. It must have been hard for him to write that while he was seeing me dying. Maybe he got his inspiration there, I don't know and I won't ask him. But I'm sure he has a lot more to tell me than this letter says. And I have to let him know how I feel about him. I told him I loved him too, but he deserves more than that. I'll get even with him and write down how I feel. It may be considered childish, but that's the way we both are. I have to give him something he can remember me by. The decision is made quickly and I take pen and paper and start writing:   
  
*********************************************   
  
Dear Bailey,   
You just left a while ago and I can't sleep. I know you would be mad if you saw I was staying awake to write to you. You'd say you already know how I feel. But I have so much more to tell you than those three little words and I hope I will be able to write everything down. It's so easy to think about it, but so damn hard to get it out. But I will try my best to do it, so here it comes.  
  
I love you Bailey. I love you more than I ever thought I would. After Tom died I thought I'd never been able to love again. But you proved me wrong. Like so many times before you proved I was trying to deny what I was feeling. And what I am feeling for you can't be denied anymore. It goes beyond anything I have ever experienced. Of course I loved Tom. He was the father of my child and the first one I ever truly loved. But I was young then. I am older now and I love in a different kind of way. When you are young you're not always sure you want to spend your entire life with the same person. And maybe you won't believe me when I say I wasn't sure back then if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But now the odds are different. I am more mature and I really know what I want in my life. And you are part of it. You have always been a part of my world, just in another kind of way. And now we are both adults and I guess we know what we want. And all I want is you. I want to hold and take your hand in mine. I want to go to the movies; I want to take you and Chloe out for dinner. I want us to be a family again. I want so much for us I can hardly keep up with my thoughts. And I'm sure you won't let me down. You never have let me down and it's not now you will do that.   
  
When I saw that truck coming straight to me, I thought my life was over. And all I thought about during those seconds was you. Not Chloe who I deeply love, but you, my best friend. And it's then I realized I was in love with you. And I thought it would be to late to tell you. I am glad I had my guardian angel with me or it would all be over. And I'm glad it's all starting like you said. Cause having what we are gonna have, is going to be a new start in my life. A life I'll take with both hands and never let go again. Just like I'll never let you go again.   
Normally I can't write, but when I think about you I feel like writing a book. It's funny what love can do to a person. I feel like writing songs and poems, but I think I'll stick to poems. And here comes the poem that makes me think of you:   
  
  
Flying on Emotions   
  
A picture of you   
A picture of me   
Together we're stronger than others   
It has been so long   
It has been so good   
And still we're in love with each other   
Just give me your hand   
I'll give you a smile   
And feel the vibrations inside me   
When you look at me   
I know what love means   
All through the day you're in my mind   
I'll just say how I feel   
I'll just say what you mean   
I'll gently hold you in my arms   
We're flying on emotions   
We're flying on our dreams   
You know I'll find a way to show my heart is real   
Hold on to your feelings   
Hold on to your love   
And deep inside I'll find the words no one can hide   
Our love will last forever   
You're the one I need   
Our love will last forever   
Forever it will be   
  
I think that about covers it Bailey. I can't say more about what I feel. You must understand know that I really meant it when I said I love you. I hope you will cherish this letter like I will cherish you. I love you, Bailey.   
  
Love,   
Sam.   
XXXX   
  
*******************************************  
  
I came back from the hospital a week ago. I am lying in front of the fireplace with Bailey by my side. He is lying on his back and I have my head on his chest. We are silently watching the fire burn and enjoying this most wonderful and romantic moment. I never pictured Bailey as a romantic, but he is. He's the most romantic man I have ever met. He can surprise me with the most original things. Like when I came back from the hospital, he had my bed covered with roses and was playing Bon Jovi's "Bed of Roses". Or like he seems to find the music suiting for the circumstance we are in. He is still a secret to me, but I intent to discover his most inner secrets little by little.  
  
When I handed him the letter he was crying. He said it was the most beautiful thing he had ever read and I know he meant it. And I thought I couldn't write. But it's beauty lay in the fact that it came from the heart. My heart belongs to one man now. I never intend to hurt that man. While his finger is running through my hair, I am thinking about our first kiss. It happened the first night I was home. We were watching a romantic movie on TV cuddled against each other. Of course I was crying again, like always when I watch a sentimental movie. And Bailey realized I was crying and he turned my head around. He sweetly smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek, following the path of my tears. And then I felt his soft lips gently covering mine. His lips were so warm and soft and he was kissing me with all the tenderness in the world. Like he was scared he would hurt me. And I know he was because he had told me before he would never do anything to hurt me. He was tracing my bottom lip with his and I totally melted away. Sure, I had been kissed many times before, but not in such a tender and caring way. Because Bailey doesn't only love me, he cares about me and most important he respects me.   
  
I feel Bailey shift under me and I wonder what he is up to again. He softly asks me if I would mind if he got up and I laugh at him. He is so considerate with my I wonder if this is ever going to stop. If there is a piece of heaven, I have found mine.   
  
He walks to the stereo and flips a tape in the player. The soft beats of the music are filling the room and he walks to me and asks me if I want to dance. Of course I do. I can't imagine anything better than being in his arms. He holds me very tight as we dance to the rhythm of the most beautiful song I have ever heard. And then he whispers magic words in my ears:   
  
"I wrote this song for you Sam. A friend of mine wrote the lyrics and sang it. "   
  
I can't believe this. This guy is so talented and he never said a word of it. As I sway in his arms, I listen closely to the lyrics:   
  
I like the feel of you name on my lips   
And I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss   
The was that your fingers run through my hair   
And how your sent lingers even when you're not there   
And I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh   
And how you enjoy your two-hour bad   
And how you've convinced me to dance in the rain   
With everyone watching like we were insane   
  
But I love the way you love me   
Strong and wild, slow and easy   
Heart and soul so completely   
I love the way you love me   
  
And I like to imitate ol' Jerry Lee   
And you roll your eyes when I'm lightly off key   
And I like the innocent way that you cry   
At old sappy movies you've seen hundreds of times   
  
But I love the way you love me   
Strong and wild, slow and easy   
Heart and soul so completely   
I love the way you love me   
  
And I could list a million things   
I love to like about you   
But they could all come down to one reason   
I could never live without you  
  
But I love the way you love me   
Strong and wild, slow and easy   
Heart and soul so completely   
I love the way you love me   
  
But I love the way you love me   
Strong and wild, slow and easy   
Heart and soul so completely   
I love the way you love me   
  
The song is finished and I am standing here in tears. I am surprised at this. I don't know what to say anymore and that will be the first time in my life. You notice I am crying and you tenderly kiss my tears away. I smile at you, because I know it is the most beautiful present I can offer you right now:   
  
"I love it, Bailey. It is the most beautiful song I have ever heard. You are so talented."   
"You're my talent, Sam. All this is because of you."   
  
And then you kiss me again, you take my hand and lead me in front of he fireplace. I sit down and you take something out of your jacket. And then you kneel in front of me and I know what will come next. And like always when you're around, tears come by themselves. I have never cried as much as I have with you, because I have never been so happy in my entire life.   
You are sitting on your knees in front of me, you take my hand and you look me into the eyes:  
  
"Sam, you are the most precious thing in my life and I love you more that life itself. Would   
make me the happiest person in the universe and become my wife?"   
"Yes."   
  
I only manage a whisper, but a smile spreads on your face and I know I have made the right decision. I handled on impulse here, because I did what my heart was telling me to do. I softly whisper you name and you put the superb diamond ring on my finger. You brush my lips with yours and I know one thing: " I love the way you love me."   
  
  
THE END. Let me know what you think. 


	3. No matter what

HIDDEN EMOTIONS III: NO MATTER WHAT   
Email: sg1phileshipper@skynet.be   
By: Cindy   
Disclaimer: Sam, Bailey and the Profiler gang don't belong to me. They are property of the Sander/Moses Production and the NBC Network. The song "No matter what" belongs to Boyzone. No infringement is intended on either side. I am making no money out of this.   
Rating: PG   
Classification: SBR   
Spoilers: none.   
Summary: Third installment in my "Hidden Emotions" Series. Sam and Bailey are engaged.   
  
'Hidden Emotions III: No matter what'   
  
Sam and Bailey got engaged last night. Sam was lying in her bed, thinking about the past events. She was happy and scared at the same time. Was she making the right decision? She knew Bailey cared deeply about her, but would that be enough? She thought that she and Tom would be forever too. What if Jack came into her life again and took away the person she loved. And there was no way in the world she would let that happens again. She was going to protect Bailey with all she had. She wouldn't let Jack rule her life. She would take her life in her hands and do what she really wanted. And that was to marry Bailey.   
  
They had to tell Chloe first. Sam knew her daughter would be thrilled. She loved Bailey almost as much as she had loved her dad. Angel was another thing. She hadn't be to happy about the fact that Bailey had come into their lives again, but Sam knew Angel only wanted he happiness; and if that was with Bailey, it would be just fine with Angel. She was like a sister to Sam and that's why she was so picky about the men Sam chooses. But she knew Bailey and she must have realized how much he loved Sam.   
  
The next morning Bailey arrived at Sam's place right on time. Chloe was back from her friend where she had spent the night. Bailey was greeted at the door with a hug. He hugged Chloe back and went to the kitchen. He kissed her on the mouth and Chloe was smiling behind them when she saw her uncle Bailey kiss her mother. Bailey turned around and smiled at Chloe. Sam went to her and took her by the hand:   
  
"We have something to ask sweetheart."   
"What mom?"   
"How would you feel if me and uncle Bailey got married?"   
"That would be awesome!"   
"You're okay with that?"   
"Okay? Mom, I have been waiting for years for you and uncle Bailey to get married. I thought you never would get to it."   
"Why did you think we would get married some day?"   
"Because I knew uncle Bailey loved you very much."   
  
Bailey picked Chloe up and tickled her:   
  
"And how did you know that, Mrs. I-Know-Everything?"   
"I saw it in your eyes when you looked at mom."   
"You saw it in my eyes?"   
"Yes, uncle Bailey. You're eyes are twinkling when you look at mom."   
"They twinkle? And how long have you known that Chloe?"   
"For a very long time."   
  
Bailey put Chloe down and she ran to her room:   
  
"Where is she going, Sam?"   
"She's probably going to send an email to one of her friends to tell."   
"She's happy, isn't she?"   
"Yes, she is. She saw it coming long before we did. My little girl is growing so fast. She'll be a woman soon."   
"She's just a kid, Sam. She was just guessing."   
"Oh yeah? Well you explain then to me how it comes she saw your eyes twinkle."   
"Maybe because my eyes are twinkling when I look at you."   
"Are they?"   
"You tell me that."   
"Let me see."   
  
Sam looked Bailey in the eyes and she smiled. His eyes were really twinkling and she could see their entire future in them. Bailey ran his hand through her hair and softly kissed her. He hugged her and they stayed like that until Angel disturbed them:   
  
"Excuse me guys, I didn't mean to disturb you, but I am thirsty."   
"It's okay Angel. We wanted to talk to you anyway."   
"Yes…"   
  
Angel looked at Sam and smiled mysteriously. Sam shook her head:   
  
"What is it?"   
"No, Sam. I think I should ask you 'when'?"   
"What are you talking about?"   
"When are you getting married?"   
"How did you know?"   
"I just guessed. Look at the way you guys are around each other."   
"So, what does that have to do anything with it?"   
"You're right, it doesn't prove a thing. I just felt it."   
"Did Chloe tell you?"   
"No, she didn't. I had a hunch."   
"So Chloe told you, huh?"   
"Really Sam, she didn't have to tell me."   
"How did you find out then? Have we made the press already?"   
"It's very simple, Sam."   
"Tell me."   
  
Angel put her ring finger in the hair and waved at Sam:   
  
"Hello Sam. Wake up. I saw that ring on your finger when you were hugging Bailey. And it wasn't there last night. And in my world, one and one still makes two. Unless in your world it are three?"   
"No Angel, I am not pregnant. Stop making wild guesses. It's not because of a pregnancy Bailey and I are getting married."   
"But it could be, right?"   
"Angel, we have been dating for only two weeks. From which I spent one in hospital."   
"You could be quick."   
"No one is that quick, Angel. It takes at least a month before one discover she is pregnant."   
"I know that. I was just hoping."   
"Are you okay for bailey and me to get married?"   
"Okay? Sam, I couldn't be happier. Congratulations you both; I am sure you will be very happy."   
"Thanks, Angel."   
  
Angel hugged both Sam and Bailey and left them alone. They talked about the big day and started planning the ceremony.   
  
**************************************   
  
Bailey was standing in the church in a beautiful black smoking that standing him like a glove. He was waiting for Sam to come in. the music was softly playing in the background and bailey was getting nervous. He had written his own vows and he hoped Sam would like them. She inspired him to write all the time. So he was going to do something special for their wedding. He had written his vows in a song and he would sing them to her. She didn't know he was a good singer, but he had studied music and he had taken singing lessons during his entire education and now was the first time he could put that to use. She didn't even know he could play the piano. Boy, would she be surprised.   
  
Sam had picked two maids of honor: Chloe and Angel and Bailey's best man was John. He had hesitated to ask John, because he knew John had had a crush on Sam at first. But John was glad for both of them. And he confided to Bailey that he was in love with Angel and that he wanted to marry her in a near future. Bailey was in heaven. He was marrying his best friend and John was going to marry her best friend. Life was so beautiful.   
  
The music started playing in the background and the doors opened. Bailey couldn't breath for a second. Sam was standing in the door in a beautiful long white gown. She had picked it together with Grace and Angel. Grace had been right when she had told Bailey it was gorgeous. And Sam really was drop death gorgeous. Bailey stared at her with open mouth, while she walked in on Nathan's arm. Sam had picked Nathan, because he had helped her so much in the past and she wanted to show her gratitude to him.   
  
Nathan left Sam next to Bailey in front of the altar and sat down in the front row. Sam looked at Bailey and they smiled at each other. They turned around and looked at the priest. They didn't pay much attention to what he said. They had only each for each other. Until the moment of the vows came:   
  
"Bailey, you have asked to write your own vows. Can I ask you to share them with us?"   
"Sure."   
  
Bailey walked to the piano and started playing the tender and slow melody. Sam was standing in front of the priest, close to tears. And when he began singing to the music, the tears started rolling down her cheeks:   
  
No matter what they tell us   
No matter what they do   
No matter what they teach us   
What we believe is true   
No matter what they call us   
However they attack   
No matter where they take us   
We'll find our own way back   
  
I can't deny what I believe   
I can't be what I'm not   
I'll know our love forever   
I know no matter what  
  
If only tears were laughter   
If only night was day   
If only prayers were answered   
Then we would hear god say   
No matter what they tell us   
No matter what they do   
No matter what they teach us   
What we believe is true   
  
And I will keep you safe and strong   
And sheltered from the storm   
No matter where it's barren   
A dream is being born   
  
No matter who they follow   
No matter where they lead   
No matter how they judge us   
I'll be everyone you need   
No matter if the sun don't shine   
Or if the skies are blue   
No matter what the ending   
My life began with you  
  
I can't deny what I believe   
I can't be what I'm not   
I know this love forever   
I know no matter what   
  
I can't deny what I believe   
I can't be what I'm not   
I know this love forever   
That's all that matters now   
No matter what   
  
The entire church was standing when Bailey had finished his song. He walked to Sam and she was crying like he had never seen before. He caressed them away with his thumb and smiled at her. The priest went on talking:   
  
"Miss Waters, we'd like to hear your vows now."   
  
Sam looked at Bailey and started talking:   
  
"I love you more than anything, Bailey and I promise I will do everything to make you happy. I will cherish our time together and I will never let you down. I thought that my life was over when I lost Tom, but you showed me I was wrong. You taught me how to love and trust again. You showed me what true love is. And for that alone I will always love you."   
  
The priest smiled at both of them and saw the intense love in their eyes. They exchanged and promised to love each other no matter what. And then came the magic words:   
  
"I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your lovely bride Mr. Malone."   
  
And then Bailey kissed Sam. With that kiss he promised her a million things. The reception was wonderful. All their friends were there; they opened the dance to Elton John's "Can you feel the love tonight". But they did not only feel the love; they also felt the trust and care the future was holding for them.   
  
The End. 


	4. From this moment

Disclaimer: They're not mine; they belong to the Sander/Moses Production and NBC. The song "From this moment" belongs to Shania Twain. No infringement is intended on either side. I am in no way making money out of this. And if you want to blame someone, go and blame Enni. She made me do this. LOL   
Classification: SBR   
Rating: PG   
Spoilers: None   
Summary: Fourth installment in my "Hidden Emotions" series. Sam and Bailey have been married for a couple of months.   
  
'Hidden Emotions IV: From this Moment'   
by Cindy   
  
Sam and Bailey had been married for a couple of months now and everything had been perfect. Chloe was happier than ever before and Sam still was on cloud seven. Bailey was still so considerate. It was almost impossible to have an argument with him. And when Sam was mad at him, he looked at her with puppy dog eyes and she couldn't help but laugh. She wondered if it would always be like that with Bailey. She knew life was not always sunshine, but she felt like her luck could go on forever.   
  
The honeymoon had been wonderful. They had come back from their three weeks honeymoon in the Caribbean a month ago. It had been like a dream coming true. She and Bailey had spent hours and hours of walking on the beach, talking and laughing. They had swum miles and miles and had played like kids. But the most wonderful moments still remained the long walks they had made on the beach while watching the sun go down. It had been the most romantic moments of Sam's life, because Bailey always seemed to surprise her with the one or the other thing. One day he offered he chocolates and the other day he proposed to her all over again. Sam was the happiest person on earth.  
  
And this morning she had woken up with a terrible headache and she kept throwing up. Bailey told her it was probably the flue and ordered her to stay in bed all day and that he would take care of her. That was exactly what he did. He spoiled her to dead and pampered her like a little girl and Sam was happy about it. In the afternoon she felt a little better and they went for a walk in the park. As they walked hand in hand, they looked at all the little pairs sitting on benches, obviously in love. Both wondered if they were as much in love as they were. Some of them probably were, but Sam and Bailey wondered of that was possible. They thought their love was so strong, that no one else could feel like that. And in a way they were probably right, because what they had went beyond love. It was far more than that. It was love, compassion, trust, care and friendship. Despite their marriage, they remained friends above all, which was why they got along so good. They had remained the friends they once were.   
  
When Sam was sick again the next morning, she wondered if it was really the flue. She remembered the same thing had happened when she was pregnant from Chloe. Could it be that she and Bailey were having a baby? I was of course possible and she wondered how he would react. They had never talked about children. She just hoped he would like to have some, but wouldn't jump to conclusions to fast. She had to take a test first. She went to the drugstore and bought her one. And she had to smile at the result: It was positive. She immediately rang Bailey at work and asked him if he would come over straightaway. Bailey was worried something was wrong with Sam and drove over from work. When he came home, Sam was sitting in the couch. He sat down next to her and took her hand in his:   
  
"Are you okay, Sam?"   
"I'm fine, Bailey. We just need to talk."   
"What is so important that it couldn't wait until tonight?"   
"I'm pregnant, Bailey."   
  
Sam smiled at him and he sat there with his mouth open. He stared at Sam and didn't say a word. Sam patted him on the arm:   
  
"You okay?'   
"I don't know what to say."   
"Say you are okay with it."   
"How?"   
"Come on, Bailey, I don't think I have to draw you a picture. That happens when two adults, you know…"   
  
And then the most beautiful smile spread on Bailey's face and he hugged Sam for long minutes without speaking. He just held her and talked to her like a father would talk to his child. Sam enjoyed his hug very much and stayed there until he pulled away and softly kissed her. He put her hair behind her ears and laid a hand on Sam's stomach. She smiled at him:   
  
"Does that mean you are okay with is?"   
"Sam, I couldn't be more happy. You are making me even happier than I already was. I never thought I would have the chance to be a father again."   
"I was scared you didn't want children. I mean we never discussed the issue."   
"I am going to be honest with you, Sam. At first I didn't want any children anymore. Look at what kind of a father I was to Frances. And the longer I was with you, the more I wanted to have children. I have changed so much, Sam. You have changed me. And I don't think I've been more ready for children than now. With you Sam, I can do anything. And I'm sure you will make a great dad of me."   
"You will be a great dad, Bailey. You 're much too sweet and gentle to be a bad dad. I know you. And I know no one is better for this than you."   
"Thank you Sam. Now, have you made an appointment with the doctor yet?"   
"We can go tomorrow at nine. Will you come with me?"   
"I wouldn't miss that for the world."   
  
Bailey smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead:   
  
"I love you Sam. I love you more every day and we will have a great child. I'm sure it'll be the cutest baby we have ever seen."   
"It will be. And I love you even more than you love me."   
"Impossible."   
"I don't think so."   
  
They both started laughing and Bailey pulled Sam on his lap and kissed her passionately. He would never let her go again. Not now and not ever. The baby would only seal their love.   
The next morning they were sitting at the doctor's and were waiting for the results of Sam's blood test. They were sitting in the waiting room and held hands. The doctor came in and asked them to come in. They sat down and never let the other's hand go. He doctor smiled at them:  
  
"Congratulations you two. It seems like you will be parents in about eight months from now."   
"Will everything be okay?"   
"Mister Malone, your wife has already given birth once and I don't see why anything would go wrong now. She is as healthy as she could be and I don't think that will change. Now, I would like to see you every other week and stick to that closely. You're not twenty anymore and I want to keep a close eye on you. Apart from that, I don't see any problems."   
"Thank you doctor."   
  
Sam and Bailey shook the doctor's hand and they left the cabinet. Once home they told everyone they would be parent soon. Everybody was thrilled Chloe most of all, because she would have a little brother or sister.  
  
***********************************   
  
Sam was in the sixth month of her pregnancy when she was lying in front of the fireplace next to Bailey. Suddenly he go up, took his guitar and started playing for Sam:   
  
From this moment, life has begun   
From this moment, you are the one   
Right beside you, is were I belong   
From this moment on   
  
From this moment, I have been blessed   
I live only for your happiness   
And for your love, I'll give my last breath   
From this moment on   
  
I'll give my hand to you with all my heart   
I can't wait to live my life with you   
I can't wait to start   
You and I will never be apart   
My dreams came true   
Because of you   
  
From this moment   
As long as I live   
I will love you   
I promise you this   
There is nothing I wouldn't give   
From this moment on   
  
You're the reason I believe in love   
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above   
All we need is just the two of us   
My dreams came true   
Because of you   
  
From this moment   
As long as I live   
I will love you   
I promise you this   
There is nothing I wouldn't give   
From this moment  
  
I will love you   
As long as I live   
From this moment on   
  
When Bailey was finished singing, Sam was clutching a pillow to her chest. He had made her cry again. He came up to her and hugged her. She smiled and thanked him for the beautiful song. When Bailey told her she was his inspiration, she wondered how many songs he would write for her in his life.   
  
**************************************   
  
Bailey held his son in his arms and he was crying. Sam had been fabulous and had given birth to a beautiful 8 pounds baby. Bailey was the happiest person on earth. The three precious things in the world were standing with him in the hospital room. Sam, Chloe and the newborn baby were more important to him than anything else. They hadn't picked a name yet, but Bailey knew exactly the other surprise he had for Sam. He had named the baby by himself and he knew Sam would love the name. He went down and got some balloons, with the boy's name painted all over it.  
  
When he got back in the room and Sam saw the balloons, she started crying. Bailey was by her side and thought had done something wrong. He caressed her cheek:   
  
"Did I pick a bad name Sam?"   
"You didn't Bailey. You picked out the most beautiful name you could. "   
  
Bailey kissed Sam and got up to look at his son. For the first time, Tom opened his eyes and smiled at his daddy.   
  
FIN. 


End file.
